I wrote a mock obituary for myself yesterday.
No, I’m not going through a depressive episode; and no, it’s not out of any macabre of doom. Rather, it was meant to help me figure out what I want my life to have looked like when it comes to its end. Writing one’s own obituary can actually be an exercise in self-reflection, one that can help a person take the first few steps toward a more intentional life.
Crafting your obit forces you to reflect on your priorities, values and legacy. You can determine what you want readers to take away from your life: what motivated you, who shaped you and why you made certain choices.
This exercise works wonders regardless of your age. By summarizing the life you’ve lived so far and the life you want to have from now on, you add meaning and intentionality to your days. Better yet, you can align your actions with your goals and values.
“You should write your obituary and figure out how to live up to it,” Warren Buffett, then 92, said in 2023. The billionaire investor, now 95, added that highlighting how you want others to remember you can give you a blueprint for avoiding mistakes and solidifying your reputation.
It’s an exercise I’ve done before, but it had never really “clicked” until yesterday, when the life I chronicled was, for the first time, both a life it sounded like I actually want to live, and a life I felt I could realistically accomplish. The latest exercise was also a culmination of a fall, winter, and spring spent doing a lot of thinking after a major upheaval had happened.
I’m editing out a lot of the specifics, but after a couple of rounds of iteration, this was the result.
The family moved to Greenville, North Carolina, at the end of 1978 and then to Farmville in 1987. After completing her first two years at Farmville Central High School, Catherine transferred to the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics, graduating in 1992.
She earned an A.A.S. in Human Resources Management from Pitt Community College, a Certificate in Creative Writing from [redacted], and a Bachelor [degree in] Risk Management and Insurance from [redacted]. Her career began in general human resources but shifted to employee benefits after a few years, a field in which she worked for [redacted, but a very long time period]. Nineteen of those years were spent in the Atlanta area before she returned to Farmville in 2025. She retired from [redacted] in [redacted] and later worked seasonally for [redacted, as a benefits enroller and tax preparer].
A dedicated member of the Farmville community, Catherine volunteered with the [redacted] and could often be found staffing its booths during local festivals. Nearly anyone could be the recipient of her dry wit, and almost everyone could see the generous heart underneath.
Writing remained one of the great constants of her life. Catherine was a noted fan fiction writer in several fandoms under the name Cat Lady Firebird. She published [under a couple of different pen names]. Most of her work was released through her private imprint, Contentnea Creek Books.
Using her given name, Catherine authored [some non-fiction books], and contributed monthly columns to [local web sites].
She was also a talented amateur photographer, enjoyed maintaining a small vegetable garden, and frequently described herself as a crazy cat lady.
Catherine was preceded in death by her parents and [redacted]. She was a parishioner at St. Elizabeth of Hungary Catholic Church.
This obituary, when evaluated by ChatGPT, described a person who spent the first half of her life building stability and the second half using that stability to write, volunteer, create, and participate in her community. That’s a worthy summation of any life. Hearing it potentially applied to mine was both satisfying and hopeful.
It also gave me a clear idea of where I’m trying to go and what I want to do next. In addition, the document gives me a kind of “north star” toward which I can reorient myself when I get a little confused. Unlike the other times I’ve done this exercise, this time, I kept the resulting document.
In the spirit of orienting myself, I spent the rest of the weekend redoing my web presence a bit, including a re-launch of this personal blog — which I fully mean to stay personal. This is the place where I’m coming to be myself, in all its raw reality and with all its potential positivity.
As near as I can figure, I’m somewhere between the two-thirds and three-quarters point of my life here on Earth. Now that I have it plotted, I’m looking forward to what the last act of my story will reveal.